I have been living in a world of loss. Our best friend, Chaco, is gone, put to sleep after years of great living and pain. I say it that way because that is what I know to be true.
Chaco, our lab, had a great life, he got all the best, and he was the center of our world. In fact, just this week I noticed how true this statement is. His presence in the house, his glances at what I am up to, always noticing if something about food was involved, or maybe a scratch behind the ear, or an opportunity to go outside- all sorely missed.
And the pain he had was present for much of his life, though we did what we could to make him as comfortable as possible-meds, acupuncture, massage, hydro. We thought it to be arthritis, along with some other issue that took up residence in his body a long time ago. We did all we could, and him being a lab, he perservered with little complaint. He got out ran played, and made doggie snow angels. Oh, and the places he went, and the adventures he had…What a love he was, really he just wanted to be with his people and to play and be outside. I guess we all did.
So, this week, I am learning to be with his loss. After 12 1/2 years of companionship and love, he is put to rest. We mourn his passing, and we miss him so. I didn’t understand what a difficult choice it would be, though I know it to be the best for him, relieve him of his pain and deteriorating quality of life. The last few weeks haven’t been easy taking care of him, and if he could talk he might have said something about the frustration, anguish and pain he had to bare.
When loss happens, how do us humans process it? Feel it fully or sweep it under the rug? I have spent alot of time trying to understand this death thing, the whole concept of conscious and unconscious, whether alive or dead. I have no new answers. A friend remined me that people have been visiting this concept for ages, I probably won’t figure it out in a week. Trying to understand, grasp the depth of death, where we ‘go’, etc. And learning to be with the loss…. We are so grateful for our best friend, and we will dearly miss him.
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